Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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