yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
