she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Randomize
