The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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