I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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