Tell her she can't have a vagina
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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