Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
