Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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