I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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