he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
