so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The beer is more important than you right now.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
