i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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