i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have aggressive nipples.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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