hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
