Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
