zippers are such a cool invention
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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