And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
