so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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