My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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