I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
