its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
