officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
