I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize