Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
