And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
