I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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