I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
