I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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