I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
