So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wish I only lived at night.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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