My friends, they love my intelligence
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
