Kiss
Puke
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize