I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
