All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
