You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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