How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So squirting runs in the family.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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