just come out here and I will go home with you...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
