So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
