I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
