oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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