Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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