Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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