I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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