Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
