we have officially lost it.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
