i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
