If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize