it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
