How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
