you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
