well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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