Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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