My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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