508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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