Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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