i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
