So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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