who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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