Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
