yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
there is puke in my bra ... again
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