So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize