In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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