:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
