I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
