nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
