dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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