Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
