Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
